Hero Training 102: Who is Your Therapist?

Hero Training 102: Who is your therapistThWe’re back in the Big Smoke and spending more time than ever with our pal, Brian Johnson.

Philosopher extraordinaire and the mastermind behind Optimize —an online portal that delivers more wisdom in less time— Brian is inspiration on steroids.

If you’re as lazy as I am, you’ll love Brian’s minimalist approach to getting better at life.

Hero Training 102

In his Hero Training 101 seminar —which is based on Joseph Campbell’s well known book The Hero’s Journey and features the fascinating documentary Finding Joe— Brian emphasizes the importance of getting really comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Our five-part Hero Training 101 series chronicles the seven months we spent untethered. In Hero Training 102 we’ll look at how we can continue our learning now that we’re settled again.

Ed: This is the second post in our Hero Training 102 series. Here are the others:

• From untethered back to settled and cubicled
The benefits of injury
• Building your antifragile muscle (with a friend)

Who is Your Therapist?

Michelle Segar —author of No Sweat and one of the world’s leading researchers in the science of sustainable health behaviors— says one of the most important things you can do is figure out your #1 self-care habit.

She’s talking about the one thing that keeps you energized, plugged in and ready to rock.

For Sporty, it’s sleep. If she doesn’t get enough shut-eye she’s a mess the next day.

My #1 self-care habit is exercise. When I hit the spinning studio first thing, I have a better than average chance of having a great day.

Those odds are good, but I’m more of a ‘sure thing’ kind of gal. Which is why I won’t just go to any spinning class. I’ll only go to the ones taken by my fave instructor.

If exercise is my therapy, then she’s definitely my therapist. Well, one of them anyway. My yoga teacher is also my therapist. So is my Pilates instructor.

Sporty’s therapy is sleep, making me and our bed her therapists.

I’m a great snuggle partner.

Coffee is therapy for both of us, which I guess makes the barista at Kauai our couple therapist.

Therapist vs. Psychologist

The main difference between a therapist and a psychologist is one is a trained social scientist and the other makes you sweat.

I’m kidding, it’s obviously a little more nuanced than that.

Sporty and I have sought help in the form of therapy for our relationship in the past and I’ve had occasion to do so alone, as well.

There’s definitely value in spilling your guts to a trained professional. It helped us navigate our woes and figure out the best way forward, so I’m definitely not knocking it.

But I do believe we can solve a lot of our problems by identifying our #1 self-care habit and the therapist to go with it.

The Art of Antifragility

A large part of Hero Training is mastering the art of antifragility. It’s basically the serenity prayer in action.

In his book Antifragile, Nassim Nicholas Taleb explains the difference between being fragile, being resilient and being what he refers to as antifragile.

Fragile is obvious. When life hits you hard, you break.

If you’re resilient you can withstand more, but eventually you’ll still break.

So what do you do? You master the art of antifragility, that’s what.

If you’re antifragile and life hits you hard, you get stronger.

As Brian Johnson wisely points out in his Antifragile 101 master class, you use life’s setbacks to fuel your heroic growth.

You can be a victim or you can be a hero, you can’t be both.

The next time life hits you hard, embrace it.

Rather than asking, “Why me?” ask “What needs to be done?

Of course, part of learning to be antifragile is getting strong in the good times, when things are going well.

Which leads me back to self-care habits and therapists.

Figure out what your #1 self-care habit is and find your therapist(s).

When you do your life will immediately take a turn for the better.

Antifragility will be your middle name.